When it comes to clients, I have had many over the past 8 years. Some didn't get past the initial consultation and others lasted more than three years. Neither of them matter less than another - when I accept a new client I make an investment of my time and energy to ensure that they get the tools that they need to succeed. Unfortunately, I have little control over what my clients do with those tools. I can clean out their fridge, go grocery shopping with them, show them quick and healthy food options, work them out in multiple training sessions each week, but sometimes it just doesn't "click". Motivation comes purely from the client - I can't force it on anyone. I am pretty good at spotting who has motivation and who doesn't. Sometimes it's within the first 5 minutes of a consultation and sometimes it takes a week or two - but it always comes out.
My first client after moving to New Mexico was a woman named Beth. Beth was a former athlete who loved being active and really loved her job as a teacher. She wanted to lose a few pounds and improve her health because she and her husband wanted to start a family. We trained consistently with some small improvements, but things weren't coming together as quickly as Beth would have liked. We knew it all came down to what she was eating, so we took more care to dial in a cleaner plan. Beth's energy continued to improve, she was getting stronger and losing inches. Life was pretty good, but she struggled daily with eating clean and had a killer sweet tooth. Beth became pregnant and at 4 months, she stopped training to save some money for the baby, but continued to exercise on her own.
Before Beth's pregnancy, she had some barriers to changing her eating habits. Rather than asking for support from her husband, she basically made 2 different meals because she wanted to make sure he didn't "sacrifice"while she was "dieting". She also liked to keep a candy bowl in the classroom for rewarding her students...but she often dipped into it herself.
After the birth of her son, I checked in on Beth to see how she was doing. I knew that her newborn was having some pretty severe food allergies so things weren't going so smoothly. I was pleasantly surprised. Aside from the general exhaustion that all new moms face, Beth was doing great. Six months after giving birth to her son, she was 15lbs lighter than before her pregnancy. She was ready to get active again. Sure, her breast feeding contributed to some of her weight loss, but she also changed her diet for the health of her son. We talked for awhile about her motivation.
"You know, Amy, I heard every single word you said to me about healthy eating. I thought, 'I got it'. We even sat down and created months worth of menus together that the whole family would enjoy. The saddest part is that I could never do it for me. It took some major health problems in my son for me to institute the simplest changes. And my husband is totally fine with the new food that I cook! He understands that there are other veggies out there aside from corn and green beans. It's so sad that I couldn't do it for me."
Beth isn't alone. The majority of clients that I see:
- Know something needs to change.
- Seek out a professional to help guide those changes.
- Go through the motions that the professional doles out.
But where is the motivation? This is the magic fairy dust that makes everything work. In the past, I have had clients spend thousands of dollars on training packages, only to use a handful of their 100 fully paid-for sessions. Does money translate to investment? Absolutely not. The fact is this: a client must be intrinsically motivated. He/She must connect with the process. This isn't something that comes from a threat, a family member, etc. It comes from within. In Beth's case, her motivation finally came from the love of her son and wanting to see a happy, healthy baby.
To improve the client's motivation, he/she must be shown the value and enjoyment in the process of making changes / eating well / getting more active. This is the real root of the question, "What's in it for me?" Often when people dive into a weight loss program, it's all about the 'can'ts' and not the 'cans'. "Well, I can't eat blah blah blah anymore, this sucks. I can't stay up until midnight playing on my iPad. I hate this." If the client focuses on the benefits and pleasure of being healthier, changes are easier to sustain. Beth saw her happy baby and noticed that not only was she losing weight with the dietary changes that she made, but she was feeling pretty darn good. What new mom wouldn't want as much energy as possible to keep up with the little ones?
Motivation shouldn't be complicated. Just ask yourself a few simple questions. The key is to be completely honest with yourself. Sample answers are provided.
- What changes do I want to make?
I want to lose 15 pounds; lose 3 dress sizes; run a mile
- Why do I want to make these changes?
class reunion; I am pre-diabetic; I want to support a friend who started running
- What are the barriers that I face in making these changes?
I work full-time; kids' after-school activities; money for athletic shoes
- What are the benefits to these changes?
Increased energy; improved mood; restful sleep; socialization with active friends
- Who can help with direction / education / support?
Certified professional; trusted physician; registered dietician; spouse
- What's in it for me?
self-confidence; energy for family; prolonged life; reduced risk of disease
- How will I reward myself for reaching milestones and my ultimate goal?
buying smaller clothes! spa day; date night with spouse; nothing food related!
- What do I lose if I go back to the way I was living before? I consider this the most important of all.
I'd be disgraced, ashamed; knowing that I could have done it, but didn't; I'd lose my energy and confidence, happiness; I'd lose all the hard work toward bringing my lab results back to the normal range.
- What do I lose if I go back to the way I was living before? I consider this the most important of all.
I'd be disgraced, ashamed; knowing that I could have done it, but didn't; I'd lose my energy and confidence, happiness; I'd lose all the hard work toward bringing my lab results back to the normal range.
Sure, the questions are basic, but if you strip down your answers to the bare truth, you might just find what drives you.
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